When a friend dies...

The last couple of weeks have been very tough and it has everything to do with surprise and the unfortunate and sudden passing of a life-long friend of mine this last week.  Rather than keep my friend anonymous his name is John Bragale.

John and I grew up in the same neighborhood and we had different friends until our paths collided as teen-agers and we remained friends.  We would see other socially every now and then and of course he was my realtor.

Although I have had a few friends over the years pass away this one affected me more personally than I thought it would.  I followed the funeral procession in a heavy rain storm and we got to the graveside it was cold and muddy.  everyone was huddled together to say a few words and then to begin casting dirt into the grave.

The cold wet feeling that day has made me think about John being gone in that grave...not breathing...no emotion...lifeless...and cold.  To think my friend is 6 feet under the ground just makes me think way too much.  Just the other day it was a beautiful day out and I began to think about the beautiful day that John is missing, but at least it is not raining.  I think of John as if he is still alive.

I miss my friend and all of his traits linger in my head only to share internally with me.  I guess I am still processing everything, but at least I know that I am normal.  As trivial as it sounds this event really woke me up.  I need to be more vigilant about all aspects of my life and the one part I need to really take care of is...learn to live.